


hollow.

by eoghainy



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, brief sora appearance, implied akusai, roxas mention, slight gore mention, terranort apperance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eoghainy/pseuds/eoghainy
Summary: endings.
Relationships: Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	hollow.

**Author's Note:**

> i had an idea and i'm running with it. doesn't make much sense but we out here fellas.

Axel had extreme doubts about his chances of survival.

Saïx was bellowing as he lunges, claymore poised to strike down hard upon his raised chakrams. His stoic face was twisted into a mask of utter rage, and no matter how often Axel tries to reach him with words, Saïx refuses to respond. He was no idiot; he knew better than anyone that when the diviner was in this state, nothing could bring him back except for a quick little _nap_.

“You’re really trying to take my head off here, aren’t ya?” Axel taunts, nimbly dodging Saïx’s wide swing. It just _barely_ misses his shoulder. “Come on, you gotta try better than that. Some power you claim you have.”

They were engaged in battle currently because Axel was an idiot. He had come to the castle to get that kid back, but what he hadn’t been expecting was Saïx to be waiting for him. He should have, considering he could count the number of Organization members on one hand. They’d argued, bitterly, voices raising past the point of control. Axel had taunted him, time and time again, pushing buttons he previously left untouched. For someone who claimed not to have a heart, it was utterly easy to rile him into showing emotion – even if it was under the guise of rage.

Perhaps if he hadn’t pushed Saïx into transforming, he wouldn’t be facing his own death. When they had been human, Isa’s abilities as a diviner hadn’t fully developed. Under the power of the moon, he’d simply grow stronger physically; his senses were more alert, his attacks more precise. It was nary impossible back then to best him in combat, for his absolute perfection during the full moon was more than enough to best Axel’s wild, unpredictable flailing. The only downside of this power boost was after it was all said and done, Isa was exhausted. He’d often sleep for almost a whole day, then bounce back like nothing happened.

But Saïx . . . his abilities as a diviner far outpaced Isa’s. Not only did he get a boost to his skills, but he transformed physically as well; his face would broaden, and his mouth and nose would extend just a bit – enough to look as if he had developed a muzzle. His teeth would sharpen, his fangs would lengthen, and those sharp, amber eyes of his would disappear. His pupils, irises, and sclera would be consumed by an ugly, vibrant, piss yellow glow. Xigbar used to compare him to a dog; not only because of his looks, but also because of the way he chained himself to Xemnas’ side. A loyal bitch to never be unchained.

Difficult to defeat before, and even more so impossible now.

“Lazy swing. You must have known that it wasn’t going to connect.” Axel hums dangerously as Saïx misses once again. He couldn’t keep up this brutal pace; his dexterity wasn’t quite up to par since his departure of this cult of theirs, and his nimble nature could only take him so far. “You’re getting more aggressive, Saïx. Are my words _angering_ you?”

The cry from Saïx’s mouth is ugly, utterly uncontrolled. He was a terrifying beast when off of his leash and free to take whatever kill he pleased. If Axel had any chance of making it out of this with every piece of him intact, he has to anger Saïx enough for him to drop his guard. Even if it was just a _fraction_ , it would have to be enough. There wouldn’t be a second chance.

“You know, I see now that you had a real good thing going here. Have me do all your dirty work and get your competition out of the way, help you get nice and comfy next to Xemnas. Then, once you have no use for me anymore, toss me out on my ass and brand me a traitor. Foolproof plan; why would Xemnas believe me when his loyal bitch has been licking his boots since the beginning?” Axel sneers, and was instantly gotten back for that statement with a hard elbow connecting with the center of his chest. It left him winded.

Saïx’s once lovely face is twisted into a snarl. There was no sign of his composure breaking, so Axel digs in.

“I think I really started to resent you when you made me choose between Roxas and Xion, Saïx. Your jealousy I could handle, but making me choose between my friends? Tsk, tsk. I had to look the other way after that. Forget our past. You were the one always telling me to let it die, so I did. Look at me now, I’m free of it all! Good call. I never realized how _freeing_ it would be to be away from you.”

Still nothing. If anything, this was making Saïx more resolute in his guard. The hulking behemoth of a man is pacing before Axel, chest rapidly rising and falling as he sucks in unsteady breaths. His hair is soaked, the blue strands were sticking to his neck and forehead. He looked positively insane.

_Okay, let’s switch gears then. Taunting clearly does nothing. What about begging?_ Axel wasn’t above begging. Sure, it killed his pride to do so, but what was worse? Dying, or begging to save his own life? Dying was preferable. But if he was playing his cards right, then Saïx wouldn’t even remember this. It’d be like it _never_ happened.

“Saïx, _please_. You know I’m all talk. I like pushing your buttons to make you pay attention to me. Arguably, this _is_ attention, but not the kind of attention I want –” Axel’s voice rose in pitch as he dodges another killing blow from his moon-crazy friend. His hair is misplaced by the action. “Saïx, please, I _need_ you.”

The berserker grows still, if only for a moment. Axel had been hoping to catch a glimpse of intelligence in those bottomless, fucking _yellow_ eyes, but there is only the mindless, murderous rage of a beast. The claymore is a blinding arc in the air once more, and Axel hurriedly raises his chakrams to absorb most of the force of Saïx’s attack. Saïx lets out a deep grunt, and following it is the unmistakable sound of shattering metal as a spindle or two on his chakram snap right off. Axel loses an inch of ground as the claymore dips ever closer; its wondrously fine details utterly mesmerizing.

With a heaving groan, Axel thrusts Saïx off of him, watching as the berserker stumbles. It doesn’t last for more than a fraction of a second, for he gracefully catches himself and is on the prowl once more. Loosing a disgusted sigh, Axel tosses his broken chakram away. He had no use for something that couldn’t bear weight.

Was blowing up the moon and, subsequently, Kingdom Hearts an option? That would certainly end this. It also might be _the_ line that Axel crossed for the last time, for Saïx would truly never forgive him for such a slight. The loss of his abilities, and his hypothetical heart, might be too much for him to bear. Saïx could be resolute in his anger, and if he so decided, he could shut Axel out forever. Truly a terrible thing; something that Axel already decided he could not, and would not, survive.

_God_ , it was tempting, though, to just turn his frustration and aggravation upon the helpless, shiningly beautiful, Kingdom Hearts.

“What can I say to get you to listen to me? I had thought of spitting out the dreaded three words that you will never admit you used to love to hear, but that would be too easy. I thought about spelling out our plan for you, and how it went wrong, or even just talking about Roxas! But none of it will get through to you, huh? Nothing I say can reach you, because you’re too far gone. When I began to lose you to Xemnas, I’ll never know. It seemed to happen overnight.”

Saïx’s snarl shows his sharp teeth. The sight would have been pretty if not for the deadliness of their situation. In his eyes, even with the deadly edge, perhaps, it is just that; _pretty_.

“Is Xemnas your sore spot now?” Axel can’t help himself. His voice is soft, barely audible in the openness of the Castle that Never Was. This was a sentence he could not bring himself back from if he dares to speak it. “Is his the name that will cut you deeper than any other?”

Their game was over. Saïx moves blindingly fast to the right, and Axel rasies his chakram up in defense, but did not see the claymore aimed at his left until it was far too late. In a last-ditch attempt to stop this deadly finale, to bring Saïx back to his senses and take him away from whatever control Xemnas has him under, Axel cannot help but to fight dirty, even as his beautiful death encroaches.

“ _Isa_!” He cries, just as the claymore tears through the scant space between his ribs and hip, shredding through his pleather cloak and into his soft flesh.

At first, Axel doesn’t register what has happened, until the claymore – which became lodged in his innards – is carelessly ripped out with a particularly violent tug. With it went a chunk of his flesh, and comically, blood sprays between them. It’s hot and wet and oh so nauseating, and Axel loses his footing as the world goes white for the barest of moments. He thinks he might pass out, for the pain has not hit him yet, but this kind of injury is absolutely _unreal_ –

His chance is now. _Now_.

Axel’s brain kicks into action. Saïx is within grabbing distance, so Axel fists his hand into the others bloodied cloak and pulls him close. He can feel Saïx’s hot breath on his face. With his other hand he sprays a flurry of sparks at Saïx’s face, and briefly is deafened by the bellow Xemnas’ dog releases when it burns his exposed eyes. They fall onto the floor, together, Axel’s back flat on the floor and Saïx’s hands slamming into his chest.

Even as winded as he was, Axel manages to flip their positions, hands gripping Saïx’s jaw tightly enough to bruise. His spindly fingers wind back to the base of the others skull, digits briefly becoming lost in the thick, tangled strands of his hair, and once he has a good enough grip, he _smashes_ Saïx’s head against the hard tiles with as much as he could muster. The berserker struggles underneath him, writhing and snarling and snapping, hands reaching on either side of him for the fallen claymore.

Axel is gasping for breath as he slams Saïx’s skull once more, putting all of his strength into this one course of action. Saïx’s teeth make a connection with his wrist and sink in, teeth tearing through the pleather and skin like a bunch of serrated knives. Axel hollowly cries out and gives Saïx another smash on the tiles, praying that this one was the one that knocked him out cold.

He could not be so lucky, though, for Saïx still struggles. His teeth ground ever deeper, and Axel – on the verge of losing consciousness himself – gave one last violent bash that rattled even his own teeth. His gambit pays off, for all of the fight leaves Saïx’s body at once.

The diviners jaw becomes slack as his eyes close. Axel is able to breathe a sigh of relief as the teeth gripping his wrist let go, and the nightmare of this battle is over. He allows himself to just simply sit on Saïx’s chest for just a moment, struggling to catch his breath and assess his current state of being. Saïx had done a number upon him; from the surface level bruises and lacerations, to the oozing bite upon his wrist, and the gaping hole in his side . . . not to mention the psychological damage this fight had upon him as well. Maybe it was just him, but he thought this was a bit _much_ for a health potion to tackle.

“Isa . . . look what you’ve done to me.” Axel chuckles weakly. “I think this might be it for me this time.” His knees frame Saïx’s ribs, and his hands gently rested on his shoulders. For this moment, it is an oddly intimate position. The irony of it is not lost upon Axel.

Saïx looked peaceful in sleep; his face was slowly beginning to return back to its normal shape, and all that tension always so prevalent around his mouth and eyes were gone. In the moment, he looked young. He looked . . . he almost looked like he were Isa again.

“I know you probably can’t hear me right now, but I’m gonna talk at you anyway since I already clobbered your ass.” Axel spoke as he pulls off his ruined glove, wincing at the pain it flared in his bite. The asshole had bitten him deeply; those fangs of his had shredded the muscle in his arm. “Isa, after all the trouble we’ve gone through, everything we’ve endured – and you’re the very thing that kills me. I can feel myself fading away already. That’s it this time, right?”

A humorless chuckle escapes Axel. Pain, red-hot, spread through his side as the laugh shook his body. Blood was seeping down his side, and the feeling of pleather sticking to his flesh was growing uncomfortable. His very life was bleeding away here, as he sat atop Saïx, but he still had work to do. He could not die yet, not like this; not here.

“I hate that I can’t make you understand me.” His fingers curl into Saïx’s cloak. His bare hand subconsciously seeks for the beat of a heart that isn’t there. “Do you remember, when we were human, Isa? I do. Before all this, I would have considered it an honor to be killed by you. My great best friend that I was beginning to fall in love with. Now I just consider it to be a mistake; look at what Xemnas did to you. Xigbar’s right whenever he calls you a dog on a leash, and yet I stick up for you every. Single. Time.” Axel laughs, and blood froths at his lips.

Forgetting himself, and forgetting that in this moment, he was without a heart, he places his bloody fingers on Saïx’s cool cheek. He wants to cover Saïx’s face in his blood, so that he _knows_ what had happened here. The urge is fleeting, and Axel regrets thinking it within moments of it passing from his brain.

“If there’s an ounce of care for me in that emptiness inside you, you’ll get yourself out of this mess. You were always good at that, Isa. You always knew the best ways out of trouble. You free yourself from whatever entanglement you’re in with Xemnas, and I’ll _consider_ forgiving you. Otherwise, my heartless is gonna haunt your ass for the rest of your days and make you regret it.”

Temptation grabs at him, and Axel has to fight against the urge to steal a kiss. The very last one. Instead, he leans forward to rest his forehead against Saïx’s shoulder and takes a deep, steadying breath. He’s got this. A little wound isn’t going to slow him down too much; he’ll tough it out.

“Isa, don’t blame yourself when you wake up.” Axel whispers, now finding his mouth right next to Saïx’s pointed ear. If his lips gently graze his skin, Axel cannot say. “Do me a favor better than that; don’t even remember any of this. Just get yourself free, Isa. Do that. Do it for me, for _you_. Got it in that thick skull?”

It takes strength that Axel no longer has to get to his feet, and when he does, the world begins to sway dangerously. He’s able to steady himself with a hard resolve, and ignores his life ebbing away with every breath he draws in. “I’ll be taking this, thank you,” Axel says to no one as he strips Saïx of his cloak and puts it on. He tears off the arm of his old one and wraps it around his thin waist, tightly cinching it around his wound. It would have to do for pressure.

Saïx looks small, knocked out and alone on the reflective tile. He’s lost weight since last time Axel saw him; the shadows beneath his eyes are prominent, and even his unconscious state seems more restless than usual. Whatever storms Saïx was encountering now that he was truthfully by himself, he was going to have to weather them alone. No longer did he have the loyal court jester by his side, ready to do all of his dirty work at the drop of a hat. All of his burdens, he’d have to bear alone. Just how he’s always wanted it, right? In the end – Saïx got his way. His life would be ever more lovely now that he had no one to bother him until the end of time.

Speaking of time, it runs too thin for him to be standing here reminiscing in metaphors about how Saïx’s existence was about to become even more cold, and even more lonely than it already was. Axel’s still capable enough to open up a Corridor of Darkness, so he does, and hastily steps into it before he changes his mind. The darkness closes around him without a sound, and Axel is alone, trapped with the crushing silence and the ever-prevalent scent of mildew.

Aimless, he walks, unable to stop the memories that are beginning to flood into his mind. Perhaps it was because he was dying, or perhaps it was because he no longer was under pressure to pretend; either way, for a moment, it was so _easy_ to be Lea. The child that he used to be is at his fingertips, longing, _begging_ to be put in charge. He could so vividly feel himself falling in love with Isa over again and vowing with a childish promise to follow him anywhere.

They had been too big for a small place like Radiant Garden. Always getting into trouble, never content with what they had . . . it had been what had drove them to seek a way off of their world. They had been talented young children; Isa’s abilities as a diviner were to kill for, and Lea had been showing promising talent with his fire magic. They needed a firm hand to guide them, to show them the proper ways to grow, and Radiant Garden just didn’t have that; not to the extent that they needed. But to get their foot in the door for an eventual escape, they took the first apprenticeship that they could.

Isa was promising to their master. It had been his talent that allowed for them to even be considered for the apprenticeship at all; Lea had not been given the same regard. As far as their master was concerned, Lea was just along for the ride. A groupie to keep Isa’s spirits high, to drive him to focus. Even if he was learning some skills of his own along the way, he wasn’t the star pupil. He was a caged bird to sing and dance whenever Isa requested, no matter what the cost was to him.

Despite how their arrangement came to be, they were together. _Always_. Nothing could come in between them; their bond was stronger than any singular apprenticeship. They even survived when the castle they were staying in came under lockdown, when they were taken prisoner. When Isa’s abilities were restrained, blocked; when he could little more than turn his breath to ice. When they spent months in a cage, treated like sacrificial lambs being prepared for the inevitable slaughter.

Lea spent the months in anger, pacing and raging and working himself into such fits that he’d often be spent for days after exuding so much energy. Isa waited for their chance, reflecting; watching. No one ever came looking for the troublesome boys that were missing from Radiant Garden. No one even tried to save them from their fate. No one but themselves.

It was all in vain, regardless. All of Isa’s scheming, all of Lea’s anger, all of their whispered plans never brought into fruition; none of it had mattered, in the end.

Lea still watched Isa die.

A man had come for them in the wee hours of the morning, when they had been sleeping on the straw mat that they called a bed. His hair had been vibrantly white, his eyes startlingly yellow – the same ugly color that Saïx’s eyes turned when the moon drew him underneath it’s control. An olive hand had extended to Isa, offering; rosé lips had whispered promises, power at his fingertips if he just chose to reach out and _take it_. Lea had seen his smile, and it was filled with maliciousness. Filled with evil.

Isa took his hand, and the man – so youthful and handsome, barely older than they were – snapped his neck. Such an easy, fluid motion that that Lea hadn’t realized happened until Isa crumpled. Seafoam eyes were wide and trusting in his childish face, free of its terrible scar and palpable anguish that often made him seem decades older than he was.

_“Such promise.”_ His voice had been little more than a whisper, gaze fixated upon Isa’s body. Lea couldn’t bear to think of it as a corpse at that time, even though no heart or soul had resided within it. It had been nothing more than an empty shell. A reflection of what his friend once was. The last glimpse of childhood innocence. _“You’ll grow into yourself well enough with a guiding hand.”_

It was only when he made a stifled, sobbing sound did the man seem to realize he was there. _“Do you weep for your friend, young one? Fear not. He will live once again and know what it is like to taste the heady promise of power.”_

_“Isa’ll never ally himself with you; he has a heart, morals, and would never work with the man that killed him! Murderers don’t make coworkers!”_ Lea had yelled, voice cracking on every other syllable. He was too exhausted, and just too dehydrated to cry. But agony pulsed off of him in waves; an ugly reminder that his other half had just been taken from him cruelly.

_“Your spirit is bigger than you are, child. Perhaps I should rip out your tongue and choke you with it,”_ the handsome man had threatened, voice little more than a hiss. The hostility had fled from his face as he became considering, weighing Lea up. _“Even you could be useful to me, as scrawny as you are . . . even if you do little more than create friction with that sharp tongue of yours.”_

The man’s hand had curled around Lea’s throat, and then the world was black. His last human memory was fading yellow eyes staring into his own as he stubbornly clung to life, subsequently prolonging his own suffering.

Life began anew in the World that Never Was. On a bed that was hard as rock, with no sheets and no pillow, _Axel_ awoke to a man who ate his nativity up. _Our freakish cult has adopted you,_ he said. _Your new name is Axel,_ he said. _We have no hearts and therefore feel nothing,_ he had said. What a crock of shit that had all been.

In the beginning, he and Saïx had been kept from one another. Something or other about their human memories being too fresh, about their effects on one another creating strife or causing too much pain. Axel had had no clue who Isa even was, let alone _Saïx_ , so therefore he had no complaint. If you asked him if his lack of heart bothered him, he would say no. He was quite adept at faking the whole spectrum of emotions; despite having a childish edge, Axel proved himself to be an effective and productive member of their funny little cult.

Maybe Xemnas knew that the _second_ he ‘introduced’ Saïx and Axel, they would be lost to one another. Maybe that’s why he put it off for so long, made them _wait_ until their human memories wouldn’t be jostled free. Until they were all but gone; indistinguishable blurs. When they had encountered one another for the first time, Axel had recognized Saïx, but hadn’t been able to place the name nor face. His body reacted, though. Every move Saïx made, Axel mirrored him. Everywhere he went, Axel was always close behind. They became _inseparable_.

From their time spent together, they got to know one another once more. They were able to glean their past, what they once meant to one another. Axel was the first to discover what it meant to _want_ someone so badly that it _ached_. Nobody’s couldn’t love, but they certainly could fuck. That was just as good, if not better, right?

It was after a night of being fucked senseless by Saïx that Axel worked up the courage to flippantly ask what the hell had happened to his face. Saïx must have been feeling vulnerable, or perhaps he just wanted to pretend he felt close to another being, so he gave in and told him. In his first few weeks here, apparently, Saïx tried to escape multiple times. On his final attempt, Xemnas was the one to find him and bring him back, where he carved the marking onto his face, marring his delicate looks. Saïx had not attempted an escape since, for he knew Xemnas would always find him. The scar was enough incentive to remind him that another attempt would wind up much, much worse.

That night, Axel married his lack of heart to Saïx’s. This wouldn’t be their lives forever; their hearts had to be out there somewhere, and they certainly wouldn’t find them just by simply sitting by and hoping that they’ll tumble into their laps. They had to be proactive! Hope made Saïx’s amber eyes glow as they formed a plan; they would do whatever it took to get out of this place, to get their hearts back, and return back to their lives. Their promise that night had been binding, following them through years of their servitude.

Axel killed for this promise. Saïx suffered for this promise. Loyal, dog-like Saïx who sustained himself off of every word Xemnas spoke, worked his way through the Organization ranks faster than any other before him. And behind him, cast in shadow, was Axel. Axel took out the competition, the unruly members that would only serve to get them caught. Axel cleaved a way through the Organization for Saïx to rise, and in the end, _what had it been for?_

Well, they had gotten what they had always wanted, right? Escape. Paths to different worlds. A new life. It had just come with a cost that was too heavy to bear.

Laughter, harsh and bubbling, spills from Axel’s lips. He didn’t know when in his reflections he had sank down against the invisible wall in the corridor, but he was glad that he did. His head rests back as he wheeze-laughs, hands clamping down tightly upon the gaping hole in his side. Blood oozes slowly against his slick fingers. “Nothing, Isa! Our grand plans were all for nothing! Isn’t that the best final punchline?”

Axel’s skin was clammy as he settles in for his impending death. He was vaguely aware of the bloody vomit at his side, and dimly realizes that that was why his mouth tasted sour. He couldn’t help his continued chuckling; was mania taking hold now that he was getting ready to fade away?

“Come on, we have to go!”

_Who_?

Each corridor was its own separate doorway to another place. There could be no other person in here with him – so where was the voice coming from? His eyes open, seeing no source of the voice.

“Hurry up you two!”

Axel rouses, very aware of the painful fact that he _knew_ this voice. Delirium gave him the ability to push to his feet, despite the fact that his vision was narrowing to pinholes and all he wanted to do was _sleep_. He was so exhausted; giving up wouldn’t be such a bad thing now. He had fought long and hard enough, for little to no reward. He deserves a semi-peaceful end. He deserves to simply drift off.

“We gotta get up there, _come on_!”

_Roxas, I’m coming_. Axel stumbles through the rest of the corridor, nearly tripping twice. _Wait for me, Roxas._ The darkness peels away from him like a second skin as he steps through another doorway. When the world made sense again, and the clinging remains of the corridor did not blind him to his new location, Roxas stood over him with his eyebrows pursed and expression concerned. Those blue eyes were haunting him.

But it was not Roxas. It would never be Roxas again.

It was Sora.

**Author's Note:**

> melody of memory has me hyped okay i'm back on my bs.


End file.
